Trying to imagine my life in five years time is proving increasingly difficult at the moment. My life has gone from having at least an element of certainty, to having nothing of the sort, leaving me wondering what the future has to hold. Four months ago I was happy in Manchester, with the people who cared about me, happy in my relationship and not finding myself wanting anything more. Now, I have started believing that the wool was covering my eyes, and actually there has always been a part of me that wants to see what the rest of the world has to offer, explore and develop my cultural knowledge of places and learn more about the people who inhabit them.
I have now decided it is my time to put together a list of things to do before I die. Not that I believe I will do all of these things, quite the contrary, but the thought that I am free to do whatever I please without the say so of any other person excites me. I have gone from feeling bitter about a bad break up to feeling thankful for it. Perhaps all he was doing was holdng me back, and who is anyone to hold another back from their dreams?
I have to say it has made me dubious about relationships. It scares me to put my trust into one person again, as in no time at all they could change their minds or personalities and all of my faith is shattered. All I miss is feeling close to someone, and that feeling I get (all be it in a different way) from my amazing friends and family. Anyway, now for the more interesting read, my own personal list (not neccessarily in order):
Make my own charity. For those of you who don't know, I lost my uncle tragically after he suffered from depression. I want to support the people who are depressed, providing them with the correct counselling, as well as providing counselling for families who have had to deal with depression or in the worst cases, suicide. I don't think there is enough support for people with this illness, and so many people suffer in silence or don't even realise that they have it... I want to help.
Write a book. One of my top priorities. I have literally no idea what this book would be about, but I would take a year out, sit in paradise (Thailand) and I would write until I figured it out. I would get it published, and the first person to buy it I would interview after reading, and find out exactly what people think of my writing.
I would find it interesting to go on a blind date, and I mean properly blind. Spend hours with one person and have no idea what they look like, be blindfolded the whole time. Get to know them, decide whether you want to see them again, and then the blindfold comes off and we get to find out what on another looks like. Scary, but I think personality is far more important than looks in any relationship.
Spend a night in a haunted house. I'm a believer in ghosts and would love it if I saw one for myself to prove it.
I want to walk through New York searching for the best street style, then walk through London to compare my photos. This is one which I am 100% sure I will do, and very much look forward to it.
I want to sit in a cage with tigers in Tiger Kingdom, Chang Mai. fingers crossed, this will definitely happen on one of my trips to Thailand.
I want to visit Machu Picchu in Peru, an ancient city built in the middle of the 15th century and was inhabited for 100 years, before being undiscovered for 3 centuries. It is a pre-columbian Inca site, and looks so magical, I can imagine taking the most beautiful pictures there...
I am obsessed with the stars, and I would love to learn the constellations and sleep outside beneath the stars.
Although I'm not religious at all, I want to visit the Vatican City.
I want to research into conspiracies regarding the Government knowing nore than they're letting on about UFOs.
I want to take part in an archeological dig.
I want to shadow a CSI agent for the day.
Be in a jury.
I want to completely design my own house, or if i don't have that sort of money then design someone elses. The though of project managing something so important makes me smile...
I want to visit Uluru (how cliche) and walk the whole 6 miles around it... The cave drawings seen at Uluru are some of the oldest and most amazing drawings from the prehistoric era, and to see a place which is known as "the seat of the gods" and is worshipped to the point that the aborigines will not step foot onto the rock, would be inspiring.
I need to visit Barcelona to witness the work of one of my favourite artists/architects, Gaudi. I would take a thousand pictures and probably end up wanting to live there...
Rainforests are being cut down at a rate of one football field per SECOND. So I would plant a tree in the amazon rainforest where many have been chopped down.
I'd bathe in the natural formed hot springs of Pamukkale, Turkey.
Take a photo of every one of the 887 moai statues on Easter Island in Chile.
I would love to go on a safari in Africa, another cliche but something I think would be unbelievable.
Go to the slums of a city and hand out one item of my clothing to every little girl there living in poverty. May be mean on the guys but I can't see them wanting dresses...
I'd take my grandad to visit the poppy fields in Normandy and pay my respects.
The generic "walk on the Great Wall Of China".
Another China related one (there are so many things I want to see there, but I'll just pick a few) is the Mausoleum of the First Qin Emperor, The Terracotta Army. Haunting but awe inspiring, this "army" is made out of approximately 9,000 soldiers!
Carrying on with the China theme (can you tell I really want to go?) I would cross the 171 ft wide moat to enter The Forbidden City, a place once inhabited by the Emporers themselves.
Visit Australia to see the place my Aunty and Uncle got married, of course taking them with me. And the generic climbing Sydney Harbour Bridge...
Really want an amazing guy to take me to Paris and wine and dine me.... but I think thats part of every girls list isn't it?!
I'd love to go to Amsterdam with my Nana and Grandad so they could show me where they met...
Grab all my nearest and dearest, hire a canal barge and drink all day in the sunshine. Music, friends and family all together...
See the Northern Lights.
Witness the roar of a thousand mopeds in Vietnam.
Own my own magazine, or become a free lance journalist for travel, fashion or lifestyle publications. This is pretty much my life ambition...
Go to Rio and join in with a carnival.
Take a hot air balloon ride.
Learn to cook... This sounds like a silly one but I'm so useless in the kitchen, I'd love to be able to make exotic dishes from scratch.
I would love to learn more about Buddhism, as it is the only religion I could see myself believing in...
Interview someone on death row.
Join in with the harvesting of the rice on the terraces in the Philippenes.
Go to Pearl Harbour.
Spend as long as possible in Italy, and eat pizza and pasta every night.
Buy my mum and dad a challet in Austria.
Be on the front row of Paris or Milan or London fashion Week...
Get on a train and keep travelling making random changes for a few hours, just to see where I end up, then explore...
Find someone special who'll do all of this with me...